Ok so first off I just want to say that I am not sure if this is coming from the fact that I have been drinking tonight or if my medication isn't working well or any other thing but this is currently how I feel.
Tonight I feel so confused, I am dating a great guy and I really do like him, not sure yet if I love him or not as it hasn't been long enough to tell, but tonight I was out with some friends and then went back to another friends house for a birthday party and I was reminded of how much I like this other guy as well. He is sweet and funny and younger than I am, not sure if he is even into me at all, the attraction is not just physical but mental as well and I don't even know if he would even go for me. Thus the confusion I am in tonight, but again i am not sure if it is because of the alcohol, meds not working correctly or something else entirely, but only me and the Gods know how confused I feel right now.
I don't know what to do. There are so many thoughts and emotions running through my head and my heart right now that I can't tell what is real and what is just wishful thinking. I know and the great guy I am dating knows that I am not built for monogamy, but is it really possible to feel love for two people, feel it the exact same way, well maybe not love but at least attraction. I know there are several people who will read this and know the two people I am talking about, and honestly I am not sure of their reactions to this.
I really want the person that I am dating right now to understand some of the things I am feeling, although I am not sure if he will. I want him to know that I really do care for him very much, but I cannot say that I love him as of yet. And I really want all of my friends to understand and hope that they will not judge me as most of them will know the two people I am talking about. I am attracted to both of these men for the same reasons, I find them both to be very good looking, intelligent, wonderful men, and I believe that both of them could handle me and my moods and my sarcasm and sense of humor.
